It is rare to ask for something that is just for you, without any expectation of doing something in return. This episode encourages you to open up to your partner and ask for what you want. Break away from expectations and conflicting messages about who you should be. Be true to yourself and receive what you want.
“Set the intention to be free from judgment, and come together in a place of acceptance and togetherness.”
“Now, ask without fear of judgement and allow your partner to hear specifically what you would like, and what it would mean to you.”
“Continuing to think about things that make you feel good, describe something that you would like them to do for you right now, that maybe, you’ve never asked for before.”
“Indulge in a couple of minutes of uninterrupted touch. Allow yourself to just relax and take in what you requested from your partner, just for you.”
Lucy Snider, Sexual Health Adviser & Psychosexual Therapist
“How good are you at asking for what you want? Maybe you feel it’s not ok to ask, maybe you don’t know what you want, maybe you’re frightened you won’t get it or don’t deserve it. Think back to the last time someone gave you a compliment, how did it feel? Were you able to take in what they said, or did you brush it away and change the subject? It can be hard for us at times to accept pleasure – whether that’s in the form of allowing yourself to truly accept compliments, give yourself treats now and then or have a sexual experience that is only about laying back and receiving pleasure while being fully present in that moment without worrying that you need to “return the favor”! As a society we promote selflessness and altruism – tis better to give than to receive – and so it can feel like it’s not ok to put your own needs first. The problem with always putting others first though, particularly when it comes to sensual intimacy, is that we can end up missing out. This can build resentment and lower desire. By beginning to learn to ask for what you want from your partner you can build confidence, lower anxiety, heighten pleasure and build deeper intimacy. It might be challenging at first, but the more you practice the more natural it will begin to feel.”
This Intimacy Exercise is great for
- Communicating in a new way
- Releasing yourself from inhibitions
- Declaring wants and needs openly
- Demonstrating affection through touch
- Appreciating your partner for what they do for you and with you
What is an Episode?
Each uniquely crafted intimate audio adventure takes you and your partner on a journey of exploration. Simply press play, follow-along together, and let the intimacy exercise nurture your relationship.
Download the Pillow iOS app and Try for Free!