The Modern Landscape of Love

The Modern Landscape of Love
Darren Smith

Our love lives are on the move. And there is one big reason. Technology.

It’s not just the way that we meet that’s changing, but also how we connect and relate to each other. Common bad habits include gazing into our screens more than each other’s eyes, and touching our keypads more than our partner’s skin.

The irony of this is that technology is about connecting. We can reach out to others across the world in an instant, but when we are face to face it gets in the way, distancing us from those we are with. We miss essential cues such as eye contact, and don’t give those we are with the full attention they deserve. Ultimately this leads to disappointment. How can what is happening on social media be more important than sharing with the person in front of us? Logically we know it’s not, but we still do it anyway.

And we can see the evidence for it — relationship break-ups and divorces are high, and the current generations are having less sex that those who pre-dated them.

But, it wasn’t always this way — at the start of a relationship we can’t get enough of our partners. We prioritise them above everything, and are happy to openly share in everything together; sex, love and intimacy, but the sad thing is we forget to continue those behaviours. We let the rest of life get in the way and unfortunately technology makes it all the easier to do. The difference is perhaps that before tech and the internet, we would have had to find entertainment for ourselves in times of boredom which would often involve our partners. We didn’t have technology to transport us elsewhere, we had to use our imagination.

All of the frustrations around technology working against relationships is what inspired us to start Pillow. We made it our mission to leverage tech to IMPROVE connection and intimacy, rather than destroy it. Pillow focuses attention away from the addictive screens, and onto each other by providing follow along intimacy episodes, ensuring couples give each other their undivided attention. This is backed up by professionals working with thousands of couples who talk about the merits of ‘tech-free time’, or making the bedroom a technology free zone; because without distraction we connect better, deeper and more intimately.

So don’t miss your chance to pay attention. Question yourself for picking up your phone when you are sitting next to your partner, and start a conversation with them instead. Don’t leave it until you have to talk, do it because you want to and for the wellbeing of your relationship. Notice your partner, in all the greatness that attracted you to them in the first place and appreciate what is in front of you in real life, rather than on a screen. And if you need a little help along the way, check out Pillow.